“WEDYM you can’t tell HR you’re leaving early for a mental health break? Of course you can. Just make sure you phrase it in the official corporate dialect:

‘Hi HR, I’ll be logging off early today to proactively realign my internal operating system and prevent an unscheduled emotional outage. Please note: I am, in fact, employed here, despite how aggressively the company acts like I’m a seasonal decoration. Then attach a calendar invite titled “Synergy Recovery Block” and walk out like you’re doing them a favor by not crying in the break room again.